My granddaughter Nelum

She is 15 months now.

With her dad Roy

With granddaughter Nelum

In March, I spent another three weeks with my son's family and enjoyed the company of Nelum. I last saw her in September and she has changed much in six months.

The last time I got to spend so much time with a baby was 37 years ago, with Nelum's dad Roy. Back in Sri Lanka in those days, we didn't have the facilities that are now taken for granted, not even running water or electricity in some of the houses where he grew up. There were no disposable diapers. Milk food was in short supply. (Roy had a steady supply because we owned a pharmacy which received a monthly quota.) Imports were restricted and only crude plastic toys, made locally, were available. What we did have was domestic help and the support of our parents whenever we needed them. Roy was a quiet baby, lying peacefully in his cot, smiling at everyone who stopped by. Only in his late teens did he begin to change! But that's another story.

In contrast, Nelum has all the comforts that and modern society provides. Carpeted floors, an air conditioned and heated home, bottled baby food, fruits and modern appliances to turn them into tasty treats. Toys and clothes galore. Soothing music. TV programs to keep her entertained. A comfortable car to travel in. Safety seats.

On my last visit, Nelum was mostly on her back. This time, she was crawling and standing with some support. Because she is teething, every object ends up in her mouth. Her moods are unpredictable. A morning of smiles may become an afternoon of heartrending wails, especially when she was tired and sleepy.

A little girl has stolen my heart.

Nelum was happiest outdoors. The weather was bitterly cold on many days so we could not take her for walks, but I managed to take her out on the harness a few times. Nelum enjoyed seeing the geese around the nearby lake and sitting in the swing. She would make sounds (she was discovering new sounds all the time) and would be happily cooing or muttering away as we walked.

On a number of occasions, as she sat on the floor playing and I sat on the couch reading or watching TV, I would look up to catch her gazing at me, sometimes turning her head at a 45 degree angle. This would go on for more than five minutes at a time. I wonder what was going thru her mind.

We went to see the cherry blossoms on my last weekend in Washington DC. This photo is with Roy on the steps of the Jefferson Memorial.

Return to American University

I recently visited the American University (AU) campus in Washington DC, where I completed an MA in 1985. This was not my first visit since I graduated in 1985. I went back twice to conduct summer workshops, the last in 2007, but this was the first time I took a camera.

I got off the Metro at Tenley Town and began walking down Nebraska Avenue towards AU. The old Sears store and Tenley Market are still there. I passed St. Ann's Church. The convent, where a classmates Selina used to stay, has been taken over by AU and is now called the Tenley Campus. Wonder where the nuns moved to? Most of them were elderly even in the 1980s.

Little has changed on Nebraska Avenue. The middle-class homes are the same except for a large condominium which has been built opposite the Japanese Embassy. Nebraska Hall, where another classmate Janeth Hernandez stayed is still the same. Some art complexes, belonging to AU, have been built nearby.

The library and the quadrangle in front haven't changed much. The library has many memories for me. Because all my lectures were in the evening, I got a part-time job at the library and was assigned to shelving bound periodicals in the basement at the then minimum hourly wage. These bound periodical were quite heavy but I had a jovial workmate and we managed to survive. After a year of lifting these loads, I was told that my work was "good" and that I would receive a pay hike of 5 cents an hour! But I was graduating and couldn't enjoy the windfall.

McKinley Building, where the TESOL program is still located, looks the same. The TESOL program is now on the first floor, and, for old times' sake, I went down to the rest rooms in the basement. They don't seem to have been upgraded in 30 years.

We all heard a rumor that poisonous gases were stored in McKinley during World War 1. Dring this visit, I picked up the student newspaper The Eagle of March 15, and it had a story about the "Hell Fire Battalion" that was created in 1918 in response to the Germans use of poison gas. The battalion was based at AU. Poison gas was tested (mostly on dogs) and the munitions were buried on campus and in the surrounding neighborhood. So, nearly 30 years after I first heard it, the rumor is confirmed.

Another story in The Eagle was about the reappointment of Neil Kerwin as AU's President. His "compensation" in 2007 was $1.4 million. AU was always an expensive school (I managed to attend on a Fulbright scholarship) and I heard that the current tuition was about $50,000 per year, so these salaries are no surprise. I also read that Kerwin's predecessor, Benjamin Ladner, had been fired in 2005 for misusing university funds. This brought to mind Richard Berendzen, the President during our time and who was forced to resign in 1990 when he was caught making obscene calls from his office. However, he returned to AU is his position as Professor of Physics and I saw his name on an office door on my last visit to AU. (The Physics department is next to the TESOL office in McKinley Building.) I didn't see his name this time so he may be finally gone.

I wanted to see Crestview Apartment, where Govindan and I shared a flat, so began walking down Mass Avenue. The apartments there haven't changed either. What has changed is the Synagogue, which has become huge. At 3601 Wisconsin Avenue, I found the old Crestview building still standing, somewhat of an anomaly because many newer upmarket buildings have sprung up nearby. My classmates Selina, Ellen, Gunawan, Mala, Bim and other friends have all been to our 7th floor apartment. When the Fall season cleared the trees of leaves, we could see the Washington Monument and the Lincoln Memorial from the apartment. I have happy memories of the place and the parties we held there. American University also had plans to take over Crestview (as they had done with the convent at Tenley) and they were quietly leasing individual apartments in order to claim a majority stake. But, an international student held a noisy overnight party, the mostly elderly residents angrily banded together, and AU had to leave. I was offered the apartment we lived in (I was the lease holder) but didn't think of owning property at that time. Another blunder.

I walked down Wisconsin Ave, observing that many buildings have been replaced by stylish, more expensive ones. So I was relieved to see that Armand's Chicago Pizzeria was still in business, though looking the worst for wear. I tasted my first pizza at Armand's when Janeth took me there soon after my arrival at AU.

With classmate Ellen Stucker. She lives in Virginia, not far away, and we try to meet up during my visits. I have recently made contact with Selina and Marceline Hepie, another friend from my AU days.

That weekend, the National Cherry Blossom Festival was on, and I took the Metro with my son Roy, his wife, their baby daughter and my sister Beaula, who was visiting from Tampa. Two photos are attached for old times sake.

Where my tax $ go ...

The Washington Post recently ran an article on how the immense national security industry of the United States created since 9/11 and gobbling up taxes. The New Yorker called it a "bureaucratic behemoth" that as become so large, so unwieldy, and so secretive" that "it amounts to an alternative geography of the United States, a Top Secret America hidden from public view and lacking in thorough oversight". For example,

• some 1,271 government organizations and 1,931 private companies work on programs related to counter terrorism, homeland security and intelligence in about 10,000 locations across the USA.
• An estimated 854,000 people hold top-secret security clearance.
• Many security and intelligence agencies do the same work, creating redundancy and waste. For example, 51 federal organizations and military commands track the flow of money to and from terrorist networks.
• Security analysts of foreign and domestic spying publish about 50,000 intelligence reports every year, a volume so large that many are routinely ignored.

Now, this wouldn't matter to me so much. I am not an American citizen. But, because I taught there for six years, my retirement money went to an American fund and I, misguidedly, continued to contribute to this fund for 10 more years even after coming to Hong Kong. earlier this year, when I began to withdraw money from this fund in view of my retirement, I was taxed 30%. Remember, this is not my income but my retirement money. I now know why the American government needs cash. To fund this utterly wasteful counter terrorism programs.

A note about the 854,000 people who hold top security clearance. As I write, Wikileaks has announced the release of hundreds of thousands of confidential documents that will embarrass the United States. And who is alleged to have leaked them? A lowly Private in the army. I assume he is one of those with "top security clearance".

Nelum with family

Last week, Nelum took her first flight to visit her mother's family in Gainesville, Florida. The photo shows her with Andrea, her maternal great grandmother. In fact, this is the only great grandparent that Nelum has. Roy saw both his great grandmothers, and I remember seeing my maternal grand mother a few times. Great grand fathers are not mentioned here because they have obviously predeceased their wives.

Nelum's hand on mine. What a difference 60 years make.

For a month, I enjoyed spending time with Nelum. The last time I had been so close to a baby was 37 years ago, with Roy. So the time with Nelum, playing and cooing with her, observing her changes of mood and her responses to the environment were most enjoyable.

I would spend some time with Nelum every morning after my walk. Having been fed by her mother, Nelum would be in a good mood. Invariably, without fail, she would poop which would require a nappy change and sometimes a bath. Nelum was always in a good mood after her bath, happy to be left alone in a cradle which played the same music endlessly. After a couple of weeks, i could barely stand the music, but Nelum didn't complain. How could she? She would also lie on a mat on the floor, with some soft toys (animal friends) hanging over her.

She may have been recognizing voices at the beginning, and by 3 months she probably began to match faces with the voices. Once, while sitting in my lap, she turned her head up to look at me when I called her name. She would also gaze at the screen while I watched TV, the news junkie that I am. She also began to make sounds, and one day laughed merrily at my jokes.

There's endless speculation about who she looks like. Of course, Nelum's appearance changes all the time, but one indicator that she has Fawzia's features is her rather flat nose. One day, a friend of my sister Beaula walked in. She hadn't seen my late mother (Nelum's great grandmother) in more than 30 years, and she instantly said that Nelum looks like my mother. As far as her appearance is concerned, I am sure that surprises await us.

Nelum could become moody and cry at times, especially when hungry. Sometimes her crying would be heart rending. At other times, in preparation for a cry, she would curl up her lower lip, a behavior I hadn't seen in any family member.

With Fawzia

On the beach in North Carolina

Nelum likes the outdoors. When she became moody, I would step out with her, walking down the sidewalks in the neighborhood. She would instantly calm down.

hen driving, preferred to sit in the back seat, where Nelum's car seat was installed. We generally enjoyed each other's company.

With Roy, Beaula, and me

With Roy at the Sri Lankan day

With Beaula, Roy, and Shannon

With me

Revisiting the Washington DC area

I first went to the Washington DC area way back in 1984 to attend the American University. When Fawzia began to work in the area and bought a house in Montgomery Village in 1999, not far from DC, I began to visit on a regular basis. I've kept in touch with a few classmates who still live in the suburbs and also conducted a couple of workshops at my alma mater. DC is full of legislators, lawyers and college students, somewhat like Austin, Texas, where I studied later. As I have written before, DC has rich memories for me.

My return in August, for a whole month, was to spend time with my son Roy, his wife Shannon, and grand daughter Nelum. Coming from sizzling Hong Kong, the mild late Summer/early Fall weather was a pleasure. Roy and Shannon made sure that I had some outings, with wine tastings, visits to a vineyard, al fresco dining, and a day out with other Sri Lankans.

Shannon & Roy at the wine tasting in nearby Bethesda.

In the States, I associate vineyards with California, but they are actually spread far and wide. (While living in Alabama, I remember visiting a small winery which used Muscovy grapes, and where the owner told us that he was constantly battling local religious fundamentalists who were trying to shut him down.) Anyhow, the wine tasting was a surprise because of the two dozen or Maryland vineyards that were represented, and also for the good quality of the wine. (One red, I must say, tasted like kerosene.) They closed off a block to traffic and provided live music to enhance the ambiance. The prices were on the high side compared to Californian, Australian, and New Zealand wines, but I guess with a smaller volume of production it would be hard to keep prices low.

The following weekend we visited a nearby vineyard where the tasting was free. Roy and Shannon tasted the wine while I took care of Nelum. We had lunch at a nearby hamlet, Mount Airy, where I saw this lovely town hall right on main street.

Montgomery Village, built in the late 1960s, was one of the first planned developments in the States. Unlike new developments where every inch is used-up for houses, where one needs a car even to get to the next block because there are no side walks, MV has lots of footpaths, a few lakes, swimming pools, tennis coats, green space between houses, and even a golf course. The populations has risen to 40,000 and MV now has its own zip code. What I most enjoy while staying there is the morning walk I take around a nearby lake. For a whole month, I enjoyed the fresh air along with lots of geese, chipmunks, and other walkers, some with dogs. Once, I even saw a fat beaver. The geese were a bother with all their poop on the path, but only once did I see dog waste, a welcome change from Hong Kong where some dog walkers seem to care little about what they leave behind.

Roy now works at the Catholic University of America as the director of international student and scholar programs, and Shannon, Nelum, and I visited him once. Roy commutes to Catholic U. by the Metro train, a welcome change in a country obsessed with driving. The beautiful national Shrine on campus, with it's East European style dome, caught my eye. Inside the shrine, I saw a window dedicated to Our lady of China, which I had not seen in any of the churches in Hong Kong.

Roy and Shannon, with the National Shrine in the background

At Roy's office

Roy manning our loot at the flea market

Montgomery Village organized a flea market, and we rented space for US$25 and had a whale of a time selling some of the junk that had accumulated at home. We chatted with the people who stopped by, walked around looking at what others were selling, snacked, and in the end made a profit of $70! By far, people watching was the most interesting part. They rummaged through other peoples discards, bargained, and walked away with a one or two dollar purchase as if they had found hidden treasure. On a sunny and breezy September morning, I had an enjoyable time. Roy is planning to empty his basement at the next flea market.

On my last Saturday, we were at the Sri Lankan day organized by the Sri Lankan Association of Washington DC. I was glad to see that the association was still going strong after 35 years, and recalled the meetings I used to attend as a student long ago. A large number of Sri Lankans and guests turned-up, enjoying the music, the food, cricket, and other sports. My sister Beaula was visiting from Florida and she seemed to be happy to see many old friends, having lived in Maryland a number of years ago. Roy is the president-elect of the association and he'll have his hands full next year. I hope to be there when the Sri Lankan day comes around.

Beaula, Roy, and me

More photos with Nelum Michele Elan - Sept. 2010

Nelum is 3 months old

First photo with grand daughter

With Nelum Michele. She is 3 months old.

Photos of baby Nelum Michelle

with mum Shannon

with dad Roy

with grandmother Fawzia

with grandfather Carl

with grandmother Anna

with great aunt Beaula

Beaula is Roy's godmother

with aunt Amanda